Archive for the ‘salesmanship is necessary’ Category

check out this here review of vs. death noises at rain taxi.

have you read michael noll’s blog, read to write stories? it offers great interviews and insights into contemporary fiction, plus writing exercises based on whatever michael’s reading. it’s a fine blog, and i would say that even if he hadn’t taken a hard look at my story, “the archived steve,” here.

tomorrow night, i will read from vs. death noises. here is the relevant info:

University of North Florida
Student Union Ballroom
Free food and water

afterward, i will answer questions and sign books.
if you’re in the area, please check it out.

artwalk tonight!

Posted: October 3, 2012 in salesmanship is necessary

dear jacksonville people,
i want to see you at the artwalk tonight. i’ll be outside chamblin’s uptown selling books and changing the world. won’t you change the world with me?

Q: Is there a name for the author of the book which sells zero copies?

Q: How many times shall you post about this book on social media before a friend accuses you of self-aggrandizing douchebaggery?

Q: Have you identified the appropriate emotion for this occasion, and does it swell within you?

Q: Do you think you should yip, leap, shout, and make a golden spectacle of yourself, or should you relax in your favorite chair and drag upon a rich man’s cigar?

Q: Is there a happy medium between those two options and will you seek it, or is there a further extreme which you would rather explore?

Q: What books have you consulted upon the subject, or is a book the last thing you want, given the circumstances?

Q: Did you taste something new in The Wife’s Cincinnati chili?

Q: Have you been too short with people lately and could that shortness be due to nervousness attendant upon this book’s release?

Q: Is there any comparison between yourself and the first-time restaurateur, who puts a great deal of time, money, and maybe passion into his work and worries that no customer will walk through the door on opening day, because the masses would prefer The Olive Garden, or is there no comparison, because the restaurateur has sunk his life’s savings into his business and his wife and family will leave him with nothing should he fail, while you have sunk things far less tangible and costly into your work, at least from the mainstream American point of view?

Q: Shouldn’t you listen to cheerier music, given the occasion?

Q: Can you articulate the emotion being felt,or has the emotion, unidentified, a masked or invisible sicko with a knife carving you from the inside out or a secret admirer massaging your heart, or both or many others, a plurality of emotions operating at cross purposes and all at once, none of them identified, for it’s impossible to single one out from the rest as this speculation is inspired by Heraclitus, of whom you’ve read lately, one emotion becoming its fiery opposite and back again, all in flux, though he doesn’t feel warm particularly, while pondering the emotion?

Q: Can you write, at present, without overloading readers with images or is everything coming out a scrambled mess in the manner of our last question?

Q: That is, can you set aside metaphor, allusion, and obfuscation to speak of your emotion, at least for now?

A: Obviously not. Jeez.

Vs. Death Noises


Some mornings, like the one after you slice Herv’s femoral artery, you won’t feel jazzed about yourself. If you need detachment, cast this spell. Look into the McDonald’s window and practice saying “Carl” to your reflection. At the shelter, introduce yourself by that name. The next day, say you’re Steve. On the road, later, abbreviate the alias to C or S. While picking oranges in the Everglades, go by J. Run through the alphabet, one letter per day. Alone, practice asking your reflection, “Who are you?” Later, just ask, “Who?” Namelessness carries a particular danger. It’s one hop, really, from Namelessness to schizo nuts. To prevent this, every night whisper your real name to Jasmine. She’ll guard the secret.

from “Spell Compendium”

in Vs. Death Noises.

Thanks to Timber for publishing “The Archived Steve” here.

If you enjoyed it, you’d probably enjoy my book, which you can buy here.